Love's a Bitch

Folks, why does love have to be so stressful sometimes? I was under the impression that love should be one of those beautiful, EASY things that just happened without a care in the world. Actually, that probably IS what happens when you're young and unaffected by all the other bullshit that happens with love between the ages of 18 and 35.

When you're a grown ass person, well, life experiences get in the way. Remember the guy who said you had a big ass in your freshman year of high school? Well chances are, this guy 20 years later will pay the price for it. Remember the guy who stole your jewelry and cleaned out your bank account? Guess what? You're still hiding your money and valuables from the poor innocent schmuck who's with you now. Remember the guy who slept with your best friend/sister/other relevent female? Chances are, you're looking at your current Mr. Wonderful to see if you can catch him making googly eyes at your 80 year old grandma.

Is there a way to stop this nonsense? Probably not. These are lessons we learn in life. One of my favorite phrases is, "you just learned that the hard way". I say it ALOT. When you learn a valuable lesson by going through a particularly bad experience, you just learned something the hard way. The easy way would be by someone sharing their knowledge with you. Learning the hard way usually involves having something really bad happen to you in the meantime (really bad is a relative term, but you catch my drift).

You're probably reading into this and wondering if my love life with Big Daddy on the rocks. Who knows really? Is he lying? Is he telling the truth? Is there a reason I should be wondering whether he's being truthful or not?

Guess what friends? I'm vulnerable. And I don't like it. I'm smart enough to know that with all that I've been through in life, I'm going to be gun-shy. But I'm also hopeful enough to know that if I want love in my life, I have to throw caution to the wind and just let it happen. But throwing said caution also means you leave yourself wide open to be labeled a big ass, have your shit stolen and have him fuck someone important to you.

So, when I learned those things the hard way, how well did I learn that lesson? Did it stick with me like the pythagorean theorum? Or is it like the axis points of a parabola, that I have to study again before I really "get it"?

Yes, folks, love is a bitch.