Blind-Sided, Part 2

The saga with Big Daddy (now XBD) has ended. I called the cell phone company this morning, had the password on his phone reset and started listening to messages. One particular female had called him several times. I called her immediately. I got an answering machine and start talking. I tell her who I am, and who I'm looking for. She picks up and tells me who she is. They shared a child together who died 10 days after he was born, almost 25 years ago to the day today. I knew of her, but I didn't actually know her personally.

I asked this woman if she saw XBD the evening before and she admitted she did. She told me she was with him a little motel in the area. I know of the place, he and I stayed there several times before we moved in together. I didn't ask any particulars of their meeting. She insisted they were not involved, but that didn't matter to me. My priority was to get my roomie's car. I ask her if she knows where it is. She tells me where it's parked.

I call FOBD and tell him what this woman has told me. He immediately gets dressed and goes to see if the car is where she said it was. It was there, not a scratch on it. Thank God. BUT, we still don't have keys to it. The location of the car is in a parking lot directly across from the little motel. FOBD attempts to check to see if XBD is still at the motel, but he doesn't know which room and nobody is answering the bell at the front desk, or their phone. I tell roomie where her car is, and ask what she wants to do. She doesn't want to have it towed, because she still won't have a key to it, and they'll probably charge HER to tow it. We decide to wait to see if we hear from XBD.

FOBD calls me around 7:30am and says XBD has called him. He says XBD claimed to have left the keys to the car, and my ATM card, in his mailbox. He checks and they are both indeed there. He then proceeds to tell XBD that he really fucked up and he MUST call one or both of us to apologize. He explains to him that this is not behavior you should have with people you care about, and who care about you too. Apparently, XBD says nothing in return. FOBD calls me and tells me he has the keys and tells me what transpired. We all breathe a collective sigh of relief.

At 8:15am, I get a text message from XBD. He apologizes, and asks if he needs to turn himself into the police and says he would call but the battery is almost dead on the phone. I tell him no, roomie just wanted her car back. I then tell him I'm so sad because I really loved him. I tell him I can drop his things off at FOBD's house, and I would appreciate him leaving the keys to the house too, so roomie doesn't have to change all the locks. He responds by apologizing profusely to me again. I tell him again, I love him but I can't be with him anymore, I hope he's well, and tell him I'll be okay. I get no response from him.

Friends, why do people do things like this to good people? I understand there was some substance abuse going on last night. Duh. But he, I and roomie were all living together. Why would he do that to the people who share a roof with him, people he allegedly cared about? I remember sitting with him on the couch, him lying with his head in my lap. I scratched his head while he rubbed my legs. This happened two days prior to him doing all this. We shared those tears the same morning he did all this.

All I can think is that some people have a demon inside of them that comes out sometimes. And it makes them act in a way that they wouldn't normally. I'm not making excuses for him. He did something so very shitty and I am angry. But I knew him. We shared thoughts, dreams, a home. He would come home and put his legs up in the recliner. He would read the paper, wearing the reading glasses that he hated having to admit he needed. Whenever he would see me either undressed or in a partial state of undress, he would say "row!". And what he did last night wasn't the Big Daddy that I lived with. This was another person altogether, apparently hibernating for the past six months.

There's something to be said about the duality of man. I don't know what that something is, but I can attest to the fact that it's there in some people.