Too Much of a Good Thing?

Last weekend, XBD came to visit me for a long weekend. We had been talking regularly and despite being guarded, I wanted to spend some more time with him HERE, the place we had once called "our place". Who knew the weekend would be so eventful?

I had taken Friday off so I was home all day. We hadn't planned on him coming out until Friday evening. He called me mid-morning and we talked about him coming earlier so we could spend more time together. His cousin and a friend drove him out and we sat around talking for a while. The four of us then headed to a little local dive bar. We shared two pitchers of beer and decided to go get some food. We took off and, crap, got pulled over by the cops in my little one-horse town. It seems the friend had thrown a cigarette butt out the window. They pulled XBD out of the car and asked him where he was from. XBD told him and they asked him what he was doing in this area. He pointed to me and said they were visiting me. The officer proceeded to put XBD in the back of his car. He then pulled out his cousin, and then the friend. He frisked them, checked their licenses and questioned them all. He then came over and talked to me, asking me who they are. I told them who they all were to me, and he asked me if I had lived in that area all my life. I told him no, I had just moved there from the city, where I had lived for over a decade. He never once asked to see my license, or any sort of identification.

He asked me if I was okay to drive and I told him I was fine. He made XBD's cousin and friend get back in the car with me and had us follow him to the police station, where he gave XBD a breathalizer test. We assume he passed, because then the officer came out and said he was taking him to the local hospital where they would give him a blood test. He told us XBD would call us and we could pick him up from the hospital. We went back to the house and sat tight. When XBD did call about an hour or so later, he asked us to pick him up from the police station. We thought this was weird, but we headed out. As soon as I pulled off our street, the police were waiting to follow me there. I pulled in to the police station and went in to pick up XBD. I slowly realized that they didn't have me pick him up from the hospital because it's not in their municipality and they wouldn't be able to follow me. I think they really just wanted to verify that I lived where I said I did, but who knows?

Once we got out of the police station, we went back to our original plans of getting food. We also had several pitchers of beer before heading home. XBD and I insisted that the cousin and friend stay at our place but the friend insisted otherwise and they left after midnight. XBD and I were nervous about this, but they left anyway. Thank heavens, they made it home okay.

We woke up Saturday and had some intimate time together. It was.... different. In a good way. I don't like going into details like that, so I won't. But let's just say I was very much satisfied, but I wanted more. I knew we would be together for a couple more days so I didn't sweat it.

On Sunday, I got to drive in slippery snow for the first time. It was horrifying but XBD helped me through it. Yes, I've lived in Pittsburgh since 1996, but I had managed to NEVER drive in snow the whole time. When I told XBD that it was my first time driving in it, he was surprised I didn't panic more than I did. Having lived in L.A. for so many years, driving comes naturally to me, but so does knowing where I am and where I'm going. I know L.A. like the back of my hand, but the Pittsburgh area has always baffled me.

Later that day, we watched the Steelers win the AFC championship. In the last four minutes of the game, the Ravens offense took the field. XBD had worn down his fingernails biting them and he was uber-nervous. I calmly looked at him and said, "Flacco hasn't been on the field in over half an hour, he's cold, he's throwing an interception and Polamalu is getting it". Next thing we know, that's exactly what happened. We were screaming and jumping and hugging each other. I called everything but the touchdown. Our cell phones started ringing off the hook; his calls came from his family in Florida, mine came from my family in L.A.

Monday was a holiday and I was off work. We spent the day inside, cuddling in the recliner watching TV. We didn't seem to be on the same page intimately and I guess we crossed signals somewhere. Basically, I think we both wanted it but neither was inclined to ask for it.

Monday night, I got a call from the brother of my first husband, who died of cancer back in early 1991. I have remained close to the family and he called me to ask me to come back to L.A. for a memorial service in two weeks. TWO WEEKS? Folks, he's been gone for 18 years and they've never had a memorial service for him. There was no way I could get time off in that short of time, having just gotten a promotion. The weeks before the anniversary of his death is always a hard time for me emotionally. I'm typically very melancholy, angry and in tears much of the time, even with the passing of time. This made things even worse for me, knowing I wouldn't be able to make the memorial for him. By the end of my phone conversation, I was a blubbering mess, unable to speak or do anything more than sob. XBD was very understanding, and held me and tried to comfort me.

He stayed home and caulked roomies tub on Tuesday while I went to work. I knew he was planning on going to his son's basketball game that night. He headed out late that afternoon. I told him I wouldn't see him the following weekend because I wanted to give him some time to bond with his son. He told me he'd give me a call after the game.

After this long weekend, I was feeling disconnected again. Despite the intimacy, the cuddling, the time we spent together, I was feeling "some kind of way". I was pissed at him and I didn't know why. It could have been because the anniversary of my entry into widowhood was coming, I don't know. I decided I wouldn't talk to him for a while. Apparently, he felt the same way. He never called me.